Really Mean Instructions for Using Dandruff Shampoo

STEP 1     Take your stupid hand and squeeze your dandruff        shampoo bottle into your other even more stupid hand, stupid…stupid….

STEP 2     Work shampoo into your filthy fucking hand (for fuck sake don’t just squirt it on your head, like a baby monkey who’s never seen shampoo before in it’s life.) 

STEP 3     THEN massage into wet hair, that’s right you have to wet your mother fucking hair, wet it first and massage into that itchy bowl of cornflakes you call a scalp.

STEP 4     Now you’ve got some flake soup floating around your head: Rise it, keep rinsing till it’s gone and if you happen to be one of these dirty fuck who’s still a dirty fuck after the first whatever…repeat.

STEP 5     You want the best results Mr. Fancy McShit-Pants? Wellll…..For best results, use at least 2 times a week or as directed by a doctor. Oooo La tEE dA, why don’t you just use it like a fucking normal person.